


Kisses On The Necks Of Best Friends

by Zombeki



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Lori and Rick do not have kids, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4100812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombeki/pseuds/Zombeki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick has suddenly realised he hates his life. His marriage is over and he's looking for something to fill the void as he is scared to be alone. But luckily for Rick, he has his best friend Daryl to help him through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so first off I'd like to say HI! This is my first post here so I hope you all enjoy it. This was meant to be a one-shot but after I started writing, it got WAY too long. I just hope it doesn't seem a bit rushed because of that. Also the title is a line from a Fall Out Boy song :)

It had taken Rick Grimes over 30 years to realise he is completely unsatisfied with his life. From the outside no one could see that there was anything wrong, he had the perfect wife, the perfect job and the perfect little white dream house. But these were only the things Rick had thought he had wanted, possibly because that was what he had always been told he should want. He knew these were all the things Lori had wanted, and at first when he truly did believe he loved her he wanted nothing more than to provide her with this lifestyle that she so desperately dreamed of with the perfect husband to match.

But now, as Rick lay in his bed wide awake with Lori's back to him, he knew for sure he was far from his own version of the perfect life. And all it had taken to make him finally give up was the small matter of not being able to get it up. Lori had tried her best to get the mood going and normally, it would _eventually_ work, but tonight had been different. Her naked form and sweet talking did not stir any emotion in him other than guilt. Guilt, because he could see her face changing and contorting as she started to realise that she was unable to arouse her husband. At first she looked confused but quickly many expressions crossed her face before she just ended and stuck with hurt.

"It aint you I'm just tired is all," he had offered to her as some form of comfort and explanation, but again her face said a thousand words as tears swelled up in her eyes. Lori quickly mumbled an okay before turning her back on her husband to go to sleep. Rick didn't want to let Lori go to sleep mad and upset with him, but just as her advances before had stirred no emotions within him, he felt the same again. He couldn't blame her for this, it was nothing she could fix, he wasn't even sure if he knew himself what was going on.

Staring at the ceiling he had time to think and assess what was really happening here. Even though he felt as though he always had known deep down that he was unsatisfied, he had always been able to be aroused by Lori before, even if he had to think of something else whilst it was happening. So maybe it was just a small hitch. Maybe he just needed to sleep with someone else to get himself going again, like a dry spell. The more he thought about this the more it made sense. Lori had been his first and his only, and now his story of marrying his high school sweetheart left him feeling bitter. He should have played the field first, got a few meaningless fucks out the way before settling down so quickly. But he hadn't done that, and now he was contemplating cheating on his wife. Adultery was not something that set well with Rick's morals, but he was not too sure how long he could let himself carry on this way.

He loved his wife, maybe not 'in love' but loved all the same, but he knew nothing would push her away from him, and most likely into the arms of another man, like taking away the sexual and intimate part to their relationship. Telling himself that it is just to save his marriage, he decided that he must go ahead with his plan. But again a twinge of guilt flickered over him, because he didn't feel guilty about it at all. And he was certain his relationship with Lori was close enough to being dead and gone. 

 

***

 

Lori had decided she wanted to spend the weekend at her mothers. She doesn't say why other than she is long overdue a visit, but Rick knows it's because of the bedroom issues from the week before. Neither had mentioned it since nor had either tried to engage in sex. In fact, Rick had barely spoken two words to her. He could see he was hurting his wife but he was feeling hurt too, he was upset that his life felt so empty and that she did not fulfil his needs any longer. And again that guilt ate at him as he felt relieved and slightly excited that he got to spend an entire weekend away from her.

Rick waved his wife goodbye and shut his front door before sitting on his living room couch to begin brainstorming the possibilities of what he could do with all his free alone time. He didn't need much time to think before he fired off a quick text to his best friend Daryl.

_Rick: Please come out for a drink with me?_

_Daryl: Sure man, meet at Harry's Bar at 9?_

_Rick: Great! I'll see you there :)_

Rick had not seen his best friend in a while since he had started dating someone new, so Daryl was not up to speed on Rick’s current situation. He only hoped Daryl could be understanding about it all and maybe even be positive about it, Rick needed his approval to smooth over some of the guilt that had taken permanent residence in his mind. If just one other person could get it and see why he had to what he had to do then maybe he wasn't acting irrationally.

After a quick shower and change into some clean clothes Rick headed out to his local bar. He was glad Daryl had suggested it as it was the most popular place to be on a Friday night and there was no way Rick could not bump into a potential one night stand. Even though Rick knew he was being a selfish pig all he could think was _'get in, then get her out, then get in her and get her out.'_ The old fuck and chuck as some would call it. But the thought of it made him feel slightly uneasy and as he got closer to his destination his nerves started to get the better of him. Rick Grimes was not the fuck and chuck kind of man. He was a decent man and a perfect husband. _But not any more_ , Rick thought to himself. _That ship sailed a long time ago._

As Rick entered the bar he was glad to see that Daryl had managed to save a table for them to sit at along with a beer ready and waiting for him. They greeted each other with smiles and one armed man hugs before settling down to their beers. They probably looked like the strangest pair of best friends, even though they came from the same town, they came from the opposite sides of town. But when they had ever been questioned about their friendship they both just replied, ‘opposites attract.’

Neither of them spoke as they began to sip on their drinks and Rick could see that Daryl was eyeing him suspiciously, quickly darting his eyes back to his drink when he’d seen he had been caught.

"I'm guessin' you aint brought me out here to sit in silence," Daryl said quickly before putting the bottle back to his lips. He was sure something was wrong with his friend. He had sensed it from the second he walked in, and this left him feeling anxious.

"So, how's things with Erica?" Rick asked without taking his eyes off the beer in front of him. Daryl was even more anxious now. He and Rick hadn't seen each other since he started dating Erica, since he had admitted to his best friend that he was dating the 'town bike'. He knew Erica had a bad reputation, drugs, alcohol, sleeping with anyone with a pulse, but she had sworn to Daryl that she wasn't that person any more. He wasn't too sure how Rick really felt about it, as his confession had been over text and he had only assumed Rick was okay with it because he had messaged him back and not ignored or avoided him or even spoke badly of Erica. Daryl had to clear the tightness in his throat before he spoke.

"Things are great actually, she's a nice girl. You would like her?" The end had come out as a question unintentionally, but Daryl was secretly seeking Rick's approval and couldn't control the way his voice had inflicted.

Rick's head snapped up as he heard the way his friends voice had faltered, as though he was scared of what Rick's answer would be. He just smiled at his friend.

"O' course I would,  It'd be nice to meet her," Daryl smiled only for a second back at Rick before it dawned on him that if Rick was okay with Daryl then it was something else that was bothering him.

"Is everythin’ okay with you? With Lori?"

Rick more grunted that actually saying 'no' then downed what was left of his beer. There was a short silence whilst Daryl let Rick get his thoughts together.

"I'm just not happy any more, it all feels meaningless... pointless," Rick had begun to pick at the label on his beer bottle, clearly showing his frustration. "I love Lori, but I'm not in love with her, and I don't wanna hurt her, but it's gettin' worse and I can see it as plain as day on her face that I am," Rick rubbed his hands over his face, hiding his eyes from Daryl. "I came here tonight to have a one night stand. I think I need to try someone new and excitin' so that I can go back home to Lori and be able to perform for her too," Rick admitted, then risked a peek at his friend. Daryl looked deep in thought.

"You mean you can't get it up for her?" Daryl asked, raising an eyebrow as though slightly in shock. Rick shook his head in response.

"I hate to say it but recently it's like I'm dead down there, I can't even force it to work for her," 

"Jesus that's rough, I get that thing's are bad but are you sure that's the right way to go about this? Why not just leave Lori? Clearly whatever you two had is gone, at least on your part," 

Rick let out a deep breath.

"I don't wanna be sad and alone."

Daryl could see that this was something major that Rick had just shared with him and he knew he needed to treat it delicately. His friend needed him to support him right now, even if he didn't exactly understand what Rick what dealing with or agree with what he was doing. 

"Okay, so we need to find you a girl," Daryl said with a playful smile on his face. Rick just smiled back gratefully.

***

 

A few hours later found Rick and Daryl slumped on the curb outside the bar, both looking slightly defeated as they nursed their last beers in silence.

"Want to try again tomorrow night? All those girls were ugly anyways," Daryl slurred slightly bumping his shoulder with his best friends. Rick let out a short lived laugh and shook his head.

"Nah, there were plenty of beautiful girls in there tonight, and just... nothin'," Rick probably wouldn't have admitted that if he hadn't had as much to drink as he had. He turned his head to look at Daryl, his face turning serious. "Do you think it's possible that I'm just not attracted to girls any more? Like after 30 odd years I just feel nothin’ for them?"

Daryl considered what his friend was telling him, maybe this was more than just the dry spell that Daryl had assumed it was that his friend was going through.

"You mean like, maybe, you're a-sexual or somethin’?" Daryl looked cautiously at his friend, ensuring he hadn't offended him. Rick just shrugged a maybe, looking very conflicted with himself. It was very concerning for Daryl seeing Rick like this. His friend had always been happy and carefree, one of the main things that Daryl valued about him and why he enjoyed his presence so much. Daryl knew this was one of the few times in their friendship that Rick needed Daryl to tell him exactly what was on his mind and to be completely understanding and open minded for him.

"Maybe... erm, maybe you're gay?"

 


	2. Chapter Two

As Rick lay in his bed, only a little after midnight, he thought back to what Daryl had said to him. At the time he hadn't given Daryl a response, instead just saying he was heading home and he would speak to him tomorrow. But now he couldn't help but think that maybe Daryl was right. It was something he had never given much thought too before, but why would of he? He had always had Lori - a woman - and he could not recall a time he had ever seen a guy and thought anything close to sexual thoughts. However, now as he lay there, not even close to being able to sleep, he decided it was something he could not rule out. In fact, whilst Lori was not around he could find out right then and there whether it needed ruling out.

He quickly located his laptop and brought it back to bed with him, nervous as he fired up the machine that could potentially turn his world upside down. He typed in ‘gay porn’ to his internet search engine and clicked on the first suggested site. As he clicked through the pictures he felt a little strange, which was more than what he had felt towards the women at the bar and even his own wife, but it wasn't a sexual feeling more than one of _‘what the hell am I doing?’_

He started the first video he came across and watched as the activities between the two men unfolded on his screen. He shifted uncomfortably and let out a small chuckle to himself as he wondered what Daryl would have thought about what Rick was doing right now.

And that’s when it started to spring to life.

Rick was actually shocked that he cock had responded to the material in front of him. This was not what he had expected and he had hoped that Daryl had been wrong when he had suggested it. However, he wasn't going to waste an opportunity to rub one out seen as it had been a while since he’d had any form of release and he could worry about what this all meant afterwards.

Reaching into his boxers Rick slowly started to get a rhythm going stroking his cock. The video was still playing in the background but he wasn't paying much attention to it any more, instead just focusing on the sensations he had been craving his body to feel. He wasn't thinking about much as he brought himself closer and closer to the edge as he was still confused and worried about it all and was scared that over thinking it would chase his erection away. What he did think was about Daryl’s smug face when he found out he had been right about Rick, and then he was cuming all over his hand.

Rick cleaned himself up and put the laptop away. He looked at the clock and saw that it wasn't even one am yet. Running a hand through his hair and bringing it back to rub his beard he thought about what was happening to him. Yes, he had gotten hard and cummed whilst watching gay porn, but he didn't feel completely convinced by this. There was something at the back of his mind telling him that it wasn't as simple as that he had been gay all this time and just didn't know it, but hey, maybe it was just that simple. Going through everything over and over in his head he decided to go back out. It wasn't too late and he knew exactly where he should go.

***

Rick stood outside the small bar just on the outskirts of town. Even though this was not a gay bar, it was a well known hangout for gay men and women. It was around 1.30am and the place was still alive with customers which was exactly what Rick had wanted and hoped. He cautiously entered and pushed his way through the many drunk bodies to catch the last seat at the bar. He ordered a beer, even though he was sure he wouldn't drink it, and took in his surroundings. The music was loud and the lights were low, so much that Rick hadn't noticed the man on the bar stool next to him had turned to stare at Rick.

The unknown man tapped him on his shoulder and Rick quickly snapped around. The man was smiling and had his hand held out for Rick to shake.

“Hey, I'm Aaron,” Rick took Aaron’s hand as he introduced himself and gave Aaron his name. “Well Rick, I haven’t seen you in here before… New to all of this?” Aaron questioned, tilting his head slightly but still smiling. Rick looked this guy over, he seemed friendly enough and Rick could appreciate his looks. He had a nice smile and short dark blonde hair, just like Daryl, and Rick’s face instantly lit up. All of a sudden he felt more comfortable around this guy, being able to associate Aaron with someone he was already comfortable with made all of this easier for Rick and before he knew it he had been chatting to Aaron for hours and knocked back a good amount of beer.

Rick left the bar in the early hours of the morning, but not before exchanging numbers with Aaron. They had shared a small kiss but Rick still felt slightly uncomfortable and Aaron had pulled away noticing this. Rick had made sure to explain to Aaron that he was indeed new to this and he was still figuring it all out, and he didn't want to upset Aaron before he had even had a chance to see if it went anywhere.

As Rick walked home he sent Daryl a text, not even taking into account how early it was and that Daryl was probably in bed asleep.

_Rick: Think you was right. I hate it when you’re right._

Surprisingly Daryl replied to his message.

_Daryl: Why are you still up? What happened?_

Rick smiled at his phone.

_Rick: Went back out…_

_Daryl: …. I need details!_

_Rick: Went to the Dog House._

_Daryl: AND!?_

_Rick: I met a guy. He was nice I guess. Gonna see where it goes._

_Daryl: And Lori?_

Rick suddenly sobered at the sight of her name. Could he carry on a relationship behind her back? A gay relationship at that? Rick sighed heavily as he entered his home and went straight to bed. This was all too much for just one night.

***

****  
  


When Rick woke up it was around dinner time. He checked the time on his phone and saw he had a few missed calls and messages. One missed call and message from Lori, two missed calls and five messages from Daryl and the last message was from Aaron.

Aaron.

Rick groaned and not just because he had a major hangover. What was he doing? What was he getting himself involved in? For all he knew this was just a mid life crisis! But last night had been the most fun he’d had in a while. He decided not to deal with Aaron right away, instead he read Lori’s message.

_Lori: Hey, just checking in. Hope you’re okay, please text back. xxx_

Rick felt bad that she had to ask him to message her back, like she thought he would have ignored her if not told not too. He quickly shot back a generic message telling her he was fine and he hoped she was having fun. To be honest he hadn’t given her any thought at all since she left the day before, not until Daryl had mentioned her that is. He checked the messages from Daryl.

_Daryl: Rick?_

_Daryl: I didn't mean to bring up Lori, I just don’t want you to do something stupid._

_Daryl: Ring me when you’re up._

_Daryl: RRRRRIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKK!_

_Daryl: I'm coming over._

Rick checked the time the last message was sent. Five minutes ago. Shit. Rick quickly jumped out of bed and headed for the shower. He knew his life was a bit of a mess at the minute and to be honest, the last thing he needed was Daryl coming over and preaching to him. He needed to just get himself sorted and let him get his head together himself. Even if that meant seeing through his new found friendship with Aaron.

But Rick knew Daryl only had his best interests at heart so he knew he had to at least listen to what he had to say. He just hoped Daryl was still on his side.

He got dressed and headed downstairs to his kitchen just as Daryl knocked and walked straight in, not waiting for Rick to answer the door.

"Why didn' you answer me back?" Daryl asked the second he spotted Rick, not bothering to say hello.

"Only just got up, want some coffee?" Rick offered as he began to pour himself a cup that he desperately needed. Daryl nodded and placed himself down on a chair around the breakfast table. When Rick sat across from him and handed his coffee over, Daryl waited to see if he would speak first, but it was clear that Rick wasn't in the mood to be chatty.

"Listen Rick, I know I don' know what's going on but I am your best friend and I don' want you to do somethin' stupid. If you feel this strongly about everythin' that you're goin' hookin' up with random men then maybe your marriage is over."

Ricks eyes shot up to look at Daryl. He had known himself that it was over, he just didn't want it to be. But that didn't solve his problem of not wanting to be alone. Then again, he proved to himself last night that he wouldn't be alone for long if his marriage did end. For all he knew Aaron was who he was meant to really be with.

"I think you're right. My marriage is over. I just don't know what to do about it," Rick sighed heavily. Divorce meant a lengthy battle of hate and heartbreak and he wasn't sure he was prepared for that. Or to see the look on Lori's face when he told her.

She would cry. Hell, she would probably have a small break down. But Rick needed to live his life for himself, not the girl he once loved.

Daryl smiled at Rick trying to reassure him that everything would be okay.

"Why don' you come out with me and Erica tonight? I'd like you to meet her anyway?" Rick just nodded and smiled. It would probably get his mind off of things for the evening at least. Getting to see his best friend happy with his new girlfriend. But that last thought did not sit right with Rick.

"Does it bother you?" Rick asked, looking a little ashamed.

"Not much bothers me, but it'd depend on what you're talkin' about," Daryl teased slightly.

"Me... Me meeting with a guy and potentially bein'... Well you know. More than just friends with him," Rick was stumbling over his words. When he had been wasted it was easier to admit that his sexuality wasn't what it once was, but now, stone cold sober with Daryl staring right at him made him slightly nervous.

"Don' be stupid. You're the brother I never had! You can fuck whoever you want," Daryl laughed.

"You have a brother!" Rick pointed out laughing also.

"Fine, you're the brother I'd always wanted, ‘cause you know, Merles a dick," both men laughed again. "But hey listen," Daryl continued, his voice softer, "I'm here for you okay. I know this is goin’ to be one tough conversation to have with Lori but it will all be okay in the end. You always got me anyway, and I won' let you be sad and alone,"

If Rick didn't think that Daryl would tease him for he rest of his life he probably would have shed a tear at Daryl's words. But he would so Rick just smiled and thanked his best friend. Now he was glad that he had come over.

Both men quickly finished up their coffee and made plans for the evening before Daryl left, but not before giving Rick a quick hug.

Now that Rick was alone again, there was one small thing that had been nagging him since he woke up. That one text from Aaron. He located his phone and opened the message.

_Aaron: hey I had a good time last night. I hope you did too. Maybe we could see each other again? :)_

Rick smiled at his phone. This was just the sort of confirmation he needed to know he wouldn't have to be alone after all. And quickly he messaged Aaron back.

 


	3. Three

Rick was sat across from Erica whilst Daryl had gone to use the bathroom. So far she had been lovely and polite and Rick was glad that Daryl looked so happy. Rick knew only far too well that Daryl deserved to be happy. But he couldn't help but notice that she didn't look as happy and enthusiastic about their relationship as Daryl had.

"So is Daryl the one then?" Rick questioned, trying to play the interested best friend who is over the moon for them. Erica laughed.

"He's the one right now," she teased and winked at Rick. Before Rick could have any type of response to what she had just said Daryl was back all happy and smiles.

For the rest of the evening Daryl and Erica played the lovesick couple and Rick had a nasty feeling in his stomach and a bitter taste in his mouth.

_How dare she sit there and pretend like she loves him. She doesn't care about him at all! She's going to break his heart then it will be me picking up the pieces. Why can't he just pick someone that's good for him, someone like me._

And that's when he told his brain to shut up, not only because he was scowling at Erica and he was certain she had seen it but because the bitterness in his mouth was starting to taste like jealousy. Rick faked looking at his phone as though he'd received a message and excused himself to leave for home.

“Let me know how it goes when you speak to Lori,” Daryl said grabbing hold of Rick's arm for reassurance. Rick nodded and left the couple to get back to whatever it was they was doing.

When Rick got home he headed straight to bed. Lori was going to be home the next day and he needed to be mentally prepared for this life changing event. He was shaking just thinking about it, he was scared he was going to choke up and not be able to go through with it, he was scared at how much this was going to hurt her, he was scared that he was going to have to start over with someone else, but most of all he was scared that he had been jealous of Erica. And the more he tried to convince himself that it was just because he cared for Daryl as a friend he knew that it was more than that.

He thought back to the night before when Aaron had kissed him at the bar. Aaron had slowly leaned towards him, darting his eyes betweens Ricks and his lips, silently asking for permission. Rick licked his lips then pressed them to Aaron's, he had enjoyed the feeling as they started to explore each other with just their lips, Rick was not ready for tongues at that point. But as Rick played this memory back through his head he couldn't help but wonder if that would be what kissing Daryl would have been like. Rick smiled as he thought about how he would have been able to feel his wispy facial hair, his slightly grown out locks would have tickled his forehead. But Daryl probably would have been rougher with him, he would have grabbed a handful of Ricks hair whilst nibbling and licking his entry into Rick's mouth. And God, Rick would have let him too, he wouldn't have quickly pulled away like he had with Aaron, he would have pulled his hair right back and attacked his neck whilst Daryl moaned into his ear.

Rick looked down at his boxers and saw the tent he was pitching after letting his thoughts get away from him. He had not been hard like this since he could remember, even the night before when he had watched gay porn he had not been this turned on. But he didn't feel like getting himself off. As much as his dick was screaming at him for attention, Daryl was his best friend, his straight best friend, and he wasn't sure he would be able to look him in the face again if he sat there stroking himself to the image of Daryl. So he turned over and groaned at the fact that was going to have a bad case of blue balls.

Whilst trying to get over his erection, Rick thought about how strange it was that he didn't feel scared or even different after figuring out only less than a day ago that he was gay. He put this down to the fact that he had known something was wrong the entire time, and the idea that he might have been gay was something that had always been there at the back of his mind, he just never entertained the idea before. So the past week had felt more like a series of confirmations rather than realisations. He could confirm his marriage was well and truly over and he could confirm that the thing that’d had him feeling slightly empty and lost was that he had been wrong about his sexuality. Somewhere deep inside he must have known. But what did scare him was his new found attraction to his best friend. And it was frightening because it felt so right but he knew Daryl would think it was all types of wrong. It was not something that he was prepared to lose his friendship over, so tomorrow he was going to leave his wife, start looking for a new place to live and see if he could be happy with Aaron.

 

***

 

Lori had indeed cried. And screamed. And threw some large and heavy objects at Rick. But he just took it, if this was how bad she reacted to him leaving her he couldn't imagine her reaction to him admitting it was because he was gay. He was pretty sure she might literally explode. The fight had lasted most of the afternoon and well into the night before Rick had to put an end to it so that he would be able to get up for work in the morning. She hadn't taken too well to that either and ensured she slammed the front door so hard the entire house shook as she declared she was going back to live with her mother until Rick was gone.

Rick had waited till Lori left to cry. He wasn't too sure why he had cried, maybe from being mentally exhausted, maybe because a huge part of his life was over for good. But that was his fault, so what right did he have to mourn it.

Over the next few weeks, between working, Rick had managed to move into his own place leaving his home behind for Lori to have. He also managed to fit in a few dates with Aaron. He hadn't wanted to rush too quickly into anything, plus he had found himself following Daryl around like a little lost puppy. He knew he was being stupid but he couldn't stop. It wasn't wrong of him to want to spend time with his best friend, even if it was so he could stare at him pretending that one day Daryl might want him back. What had started off as a small crush on his best friend had quickly escalated into full blown can't live or breathe without him love. Daryl had helped him out so much over the last few weeks and all the extra time they had been spending together was only making Rick want Daryl more and more. Now every time Daryl left his heart hurt and every time Erica called he went green with envy.

"When's your next date with Aaron?" Daryl asked handing Rick another beer. They both had ordered a takeaway and was currently on their second film of the night. Rick lived for these nights in with Daryl. They only happened once or twice a week but he loved them and even found himself looking more forward to them than he should.

"Tomorrow night, I'm still keepin' things slow you know, and he's bein' real good about it too," Rick replied taking a big gulp from his beer. He didn't really like talking about Aaron or Erica to Daryl. He liked to forget about the two of them when he was alone with his friend.

"What are you waitin' for? Just fuck the guy!" Daryl teased.

"I would but I'm still adjustin' to being with a guy. Feels different than bein' with a woman," Rick explained turning his full body on the couch to face Daryl.

"It can't be that different. You're still just stickin' your dick in a hole," Daryl laughed as he turned to face Rick.

"Trust me, even just kissin' feels different,"

“Maybe there is somethin’ wrong with Aaron, kissin’ is kissin’ Rick,” Daryl kept on laughing and poking fun at his friend.

“Until you know you can keep your mouth shut,” Rick sneered but with a smile on his lips that he tried to hide behind his beer.

"Show me then,"

Rick nearly choked on his drink. He looked at Daryl with such shock, he was sure his eyebrows had gotten lost in his hairline.

"Don' look so shocked! I ain't gay or nothin' I just wanna know what you're talkin' about. Plus think of it as practice for tomorrow," Daryl laughed again. Rick took another sip of his drink to make his dry mouth moist again. His heart was pumping fast but he needed to calm down, he couldn't let Daryl see how much this would affect him or mean to him.

"Fine but it ain't my fault if you fall in love with me," Rick teased, hoping it would mask that he actually hoped it would have that exact effect. Daryl just rolled his eyes.

"I promise I'll try not too," Rick cautiously licked his lips and locked eyes with his best friend. He had to make it a quick peck or he would probably end up dry humping Daryl's leg. He leaned his head slightly to right and pressed his lips to his friends so quickly it almost didn't happen.

"At least I know why Aaron doesn' mind keepin' things slow," Daryl smirked.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Rick replied, feeling slightly insulted with a light blush creeping across his cheeks.

"You're shit!" Daryl began to laugh and Rick blushed harder. "I'm shocked anyone wants you, man or woman!"

"I'm not that bad!" Rick protested and with a surge of confidence took Daryl's face into his hands and crashed his lips into his. He moved his lips in sync with Daryl's and nothing had ever felt more right in his entire life. Only when he had felt Daryl start to pull away did he end the kiss but not without biting Daryl's lower lip. Now it was Rick's turn to be smug. Daryl was blushing slightly and got up claiming he had to pee. Whilst his friend was gone Rick put his fingers to his lips. He never thought he would have ever had the chance to do that with Daryl. It was all that he had hoped it would be and more, Daryl had pushed roughly into him just as he had imagined. The only downside to the perfect moment was that Rick was in so deep his head was swimming and heart was hurting. When Daryl returned Rick was still feeling pretty proud of himself.

"For god sake Rick it was good but not that good!" Daryl teased punching him softly in the arm. Then Daryl continued the evening as though it had never happened, but Rick would never forget.

 

***

 

From that evening on if Rick had asked Daryl to hang out he had insisted on bringing Erica. And even though Rick wanted to be a big baby and sulk saying no girls allowed, he didn't want to upset Daryl. But there was only so much of Erica Rick could take, and their weekly meets ups slowly became less and less meaning that Rick had more time to spend with Aaron.

Rick was no fool, he knew he was never going to be with Daryl so he tried to focus on being the boyfriend Aaron deserved rather than the jerk who wishes he was with someone else. He showered Aaron with gifts and took him places just as he had done when he started dating Lori. And Aaron seemed to lap it all up always repaying Rick in heated kisses and amazing hand jobs. That was as far as the intimacy would go, but recently Rick had been hoping for more. He had deduced that if Aaron could give the best hand jobs he had ever received he could probably do so much more. Being with a man had its upsides that Rick had never even considered until that first time Aaron had brought him to orgasm with his hands. He knew all the right places to squeeze and what rhythm to keep at so that it wasn't too slow but wasn't too rough.

Rick had planned to take things even further with Aaron one evening. Daryl had called him that day asking if he could meet Aaron and go on a double date. Rick accepted even though he had a good few reasons not too, but he could never say no to Daryl. So he planned to go on the stupid double date and afterwards bring Aaron back to his and hope he wouldn't leave until the next day.

Rick and Aaron pulled up outside the diner that they had planned to meet at.

"You ready to meet my best friend?" Rick questioned when he noticed Aaron looking a little nervous.

"Are you sure he's okay with us? I'd hate him to hate me," Aaron looked a little sheepish, even though he was openly gay it didn't mean he'd had a great experience with it. He'd always been made to feel an outsider and ashamed of his sexuality by others.

"He's gonna love you I promise," Rick smiled giving him a gentle kiss on the lips. They both entered the diner and found an empty booth, Aaron deciding it would be better to sit next to Rick and not across. They ordered drinks for everyone and just as they arrived so did Daryl and Erica. Immediately Rick knew something was wrong. Daryl's face was set in a scowl and Erica looked like she had been crying. And even though that last bit made Rick happier than it should have done, he wanted to make sure Daryl was okay. However, the second Daryl saw Rick his face lifted, and for that Rick was grateful, he didn't want to make Aaron feel uneasy if Daryl was in a bad mood.

"Hey Rick, I'm guessin' this is Aaron?" Daryl welcomed him politely shaking his hand. Rick saw Aaron's shoulder drop from relief as Daryl had been nice to him.

"The one and only, you okay?" Rick asked, trying to probe Daryl with his eyes. He just nodded in return and Rick left it at that. The start of the double date had gone quite well and Rick found he was actually enjoying himself. But he also found that Erica was enjoying herself a little too much. Whilst the men had stuck to drinking lemonade, Erica had decided to start drinking. Heavily. She had stayed almost silent the most of the evening which was the part Rick had enjoyed, what he didn't enjoy was seeing Daryl get more and more agitated.

"So have you always liked guys? Our Rick is new to all this bum fun," Daryl asked Aaron with a wink, only slightly making fun of Rick, but he couldn't be mad at him for teasing because he had called Rick _his_. He smiled brightly at Daryl as his stomach started to get butterflies. But that's when all hell had broken loose. Erica had muttered under her breath a homophobic remark that had been just audible enough for the men at the table to hear.

"What did you just say?" Rick snarled at Erica. He had heard perfectly what she had said but he had little patience for the woman.

"You can' talk about my best friend like that! What the fuck is up with you today!" Daryl whispered harshly trying not to make a scene.

"I'm fucking leaving Daryl. You can stay here and suck your friend's dick or you can come get high with me?" Erica shouted back, ruining any chances of not making a scene.

"I thought you'd stopped that shit! You know I don' do drugs!" Daryl spat at her. Erica scoffed and stormed out the diner leaving Daryl angry and embarrassed. "Stupid bitch," Daryl murmured, rubbing his face.

"Erm maybe we should go?" Aaron suggested looking to Rick nervously.

"Nah, you go, imma stay here with Daryl," Rick said hoping Aaron would understand that his friend needed him. Aaron seemed to noticed and said his goodbyes and left.

"You can go Rick, don' gotta stay here with me,"

"Let's go back to mine, saves all these nosy dicks from staring at us," Rick suggested wanting to leave the diner promptly.

"Yeah sure," Daryl responded, getting up and fleeing the diner quickly. Rick followed as fast as he could as they set off walking towards Rick's place, luckily he didn't live too far. Rick followed his friend in silence as he marched on ahead, his loud stomping was all the warning Rick needed to know Daryl was pissed off.

“You wanna talk about it?” Rick offered trying to catch up to Daryl but being cautious to not get too close. Daryl swung around almost causing Rick to walk straight into him.

“No Rick, I don’ wanna talk about it! I don’ wanna talk about how my girlfriend is an alcoholic and a good for nothin’ junkie!” Daryl spat harshly at Rick, his fists clenched to his sides going white.

“I’m sorry, I just thought I could help,” Rick said sheepishly. Daryl just scoffed at him.

“An’ how can you help me Rick. You gonna turn her into a fuckin’ angel?” Rick was at a loss for words. He didn’t actually know how he could help, or why he had even suggested it, it had just seemed like the right thing to say.

“Why you with her anyways, you could do better,” Rick could have slapped himself. He knew he was only going to provoke Daryl, but he couldn’t stop the words falling from his mouth.

“I don’ know if you didn’ realise but all the girls in the town ain’ exactly breakin’ my door down. I did the best I could, or is that not good enough for you? I’m sorry I didn’ have the perfect wife or the perfect boyfriend, but everythin’ don’ just fall into my lap like it does for you!” Rick was taken back by Daryl’s words. He actually felt hurt and he was sure his face showed it too because Dayl unclenched his fists and relaxed his shoulders letting out a frustrated sigh. Rick didn't even know why Daryl had said these things, he was pretty sure all the girls did want Daryl, hell even he did! And Daryl was perfect to Rick. But not only did Rick think that, he’d also said it out loud.

“What did you just say?” Daryl’s voice was low now, not even close to the loud harsh tone he had been using only seconds earlier. There was a long pause before Rick replied. He felt as though his throat had closed over and there was no way he was going to be able to speak again. Rick’s brain began to scramble as he thought of what he could say, whether he wanted to talk his way out of it or just finally admit he was in love with his best friend. Well, he had already started to admit it, and now he felt like there was no turning back.

“I… I said, you’re perfect. At least to me you are. You’re the bestest friend I ever had and it’s because you’re the greatest guy I know. And if I ever thought you could love me the way I love you, I’d be the luckiest god damn guy in the world,” Rick looked to the floor. He was so afraid to see his friends reaction, the disgust and rejection in his eyes. But when Daryl spoke he couldn’t help but look up into his beautiful blue eyes, and he was glad he did as it was the last time he saw them for a while.

“I’m sorry Rick. I’m gonna head back to mine, thanks though, nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Daryl turned and left as Rick just watched his best friend and love of his life walk away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks to everyone who is reading this story and I hope you are all enjoying it. I'm hoping that there should just be one more chapter considering this was only meant to be a one-shot haha :D.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so this is the end! I hope it's not too anticlimactic for you all!

It had been over a month since Rick had seen or heard from Daryl, since he had told him he loved him. Every call and text had gone unanswered. The loss of his friend had hit Rick hard, Daryl had always been there for him, and now he was sure he would never see him again and that Daryl might even hate him.

He had taken the rejection so hard that it had affected his relationship with Aaron. Instead of keeping the relationship moving forward, they had taken ten steps back. Rick didn't want to be touched much or even kissed. And the hurt looks from Aaron was only making him feel worse. He didn't want to push him away, but he couldn't help that think it’s all because he isn't Daryl. And no one else would ever be Daryl, so Rick was nearing the conclusion that he will probably end up sad and alone, just like how Daryl had promised him he wouldn't end up.

But just because Daryl was hiding from Rick, it didn't mean that Rick could hide from Daryl. Erica had caused a few more scenes in the town and gossip spread like wildfire when you lived in a town as small as the one they did.

It had been bearing three months with complete silence from Daryl when Rick overheard two mothers gossiping in the line for the checkout at the local supermarket. One of them had been saying how Erica had been sleeping with her drug dealer and how Daryl had caught them in the act. The other lady had shown her disgust for the couple calling them trash. Even though Rick had given up on trying to get an answer from Daryl, he had to let him know he was still there for him no matter what, even if he didn't want him to be.  

After paying for his items Rick made his way back to his car and got in, but made no move to go home. Instead he pulled out his phone and decided to text Daryl whilst he still had to confidence to do so.

_Rick: I heard what happened. You should have told me, I hope you’re okay, I'm always here if you need me._

Rick sent the message and threw his phone to the other side of the truck, he knew he would never get a reply from him anyway. He let his head hit the steering wheel before he gathered himself together enough to go home.

It must have been late but Rick didn't know, only guessing because it was now pitch black outside. He had been sat curled up on his couch all day watching pointless shows and films, just trying to forget everything. He knew deep down that leaving Lori had been the right thing to do, but what he wouldn't have given to just go back in time and have her there with him. He needed her just for comfort, to have something that was regular and normal. His life felt all over the place and he didn't know how to piece it back together.

He thought of Aaron. He had been so desperate to not be alone that he had jumped from one relationship to the next and now he was starting to regret dragging Aaron into the mess he had made. He had never been alone, his first love was his only and then even before that ended he had ensured there was someone ready and waiting for him. Maybe it was time he experienced being independent, not constantly relying on others to look after him. It was scary but necessary he felt, it should give him the time to re-evaluate his life and get his head together to make better decisions.

Deciding that he didn't want to string Aaron along any further but wanted to keep his friendship he knew he had to do the right thing and meet up with him to explain everything. As much as he wanted to just send a quick text and hope that would be done with it, he liked to think he wasn't that cruel.

He dug into his pockets for his phone and groaned when he realised he had left it in his car from that morning. He made his way out to his car on the driveway, quickly fishing around the passenger seat and grabbing the device. He began making his way back to his house when he heard a voice and someone walking up the path behind him.

“Rick,”

Rick swung round fast, almost giving himself whiplash.

“Daryl?”

Daryl staggered down the pathway, stumbling towards Rick, clearly steaming drunk. As the man approached he grabbed hold onto his arms steadying himself before pushing Rick back into the house.

“Daryl, what’s goin’ on? I heard about Erica, are you okay man?” Rick asked as Daryl slammed the front door behind them. Rick got more than he had bargained for with Daryl’s answer.

His hands moved from Rick’s arms to his face and crashed them together. Daryl was licking and biting at Rick’s mouth trying to gain access but Rick was shocked and took a few seconds before he could even begin to fathom what was happening. Daryl was here, drunk out of his mind attempting to kiss him. But his lack of response had not gone unnoticed by Daryl causing a dark look to grace his face as he pulled back but still keeping hold onto the other man.

“What's wrong? I thought this was what you wanted?” He all but snarled, the smell of alcohol hitting Rick. Alarm bells were ringing in his head, telling him to walk away from this before it got out of hand.

“I do, but you don’t,” He admitted quietly. He didn't know why Daryl was here or why he was doing this, but he knew it was only going to end in heartbreak for him because Daryl was drunk and more than likely Rick was his last resort.

“I'm here ain't I?” Daryl spat before launching himself back to the other man’s mouth. And this time Rick let him, he brain was screaming at him to push Daryl away but his limbs would only respond to what Daryl wanted. Because he was right, Daryl was here, his best friend who he had been so badly missing the last few months.

They kissed hard and sloppy, nipping at each other before Daryl moved to Rick’s neck, licking and sucking harshly so that Rick would be marked. Rick couldn't help but moan as Daryl’s hands began to slip down his back and grab at his ass, massaging them as he continued to attack Rick’s neck.

“I'm not gay, Rick,” Daryl commented between bites and touches as though it was nothing. But it made Rick’s chest hurt and the screaming in his head was getting louder. It was like Daryl was confirming what Rick had been thinking, that he was here with Rick because he had no one else to turn to.

Just as Rick managed to convince himself to pull away Daryl rolled his hips into his. The noise that came from both men encouraged Daryl to keep rolling them together, getting into a steady rhythm of dry humping. And now Rick couldn't remember why he wanted to pull away, because even though Daryl was claiming he wasn't gay, he had a very prominent erection pressing into Rick’s that said otherwise.

“Come on,” Daryl huffed trying to catch his breath. He grabbed Rick by the hand and led him upstairs. Rick took the 30 second break to finally voice his concerns.

“Daryl, you’re drunk, I don’t want you to regret this,” _or hurt me._

“Stop thinkin’ too much, I just need you okay?” Daryl quickly turned and shot Rick a look that he couldn’t read. He just nodded and continued to follow his friend into his bedroom. He was Daryl’s best friend and he knew he was hurting from Erica’s betrayal, so if he needed to do this to feel better Rick would do it for him, even if it would destroy him in the process.

When they got into the bedroom Daryl was quickly back on Rick just as they had been moments earlier, but even more frantic if possible. Daryl was clearly desperate, trying to clasp hold onto any part of Rick that he could, touching him all over. Rick just tried to lap as much of it up as he could, he figured if he is going to be hating himself tomorrow he may as well enjoy himself now.

Rick put his hands onto Daryl’s hips, rubbing circles into the soft flesh, causing Daryl to jerk his hips forward as he did, enjoying the teasing feeling. Then Rick ran his hands up to Daryl’s chest running his palms over his firm pecs and finding Daryl’s small nipples to nip and tug through his shirt. A low groan escaped Daryl’s throat as he moved to take his own and Rick’s shirt off, eager to move on from just kissing and touching. Rick placed his hands back where they had been only now there was nothing blocking the skin to skin touches. He lowered his head to replace his hands with his mouth flicking the small nub with the end of his tongue, then taking it into his mouth to suck and nibble on.

Rick wanted to drive Daryl crazy, wanted to make him feel so good he would never forget it. Moans and cries were dripping from Daryl as Rick moved down his body, kissing a trail to the line of hair under his navel. He began to unbutton Daryl’s jeans pushing them to his ankles then he took the waistband of his boxers into his grip, pulling them down tortuously slow, before releasing Daryl’s rock hard erection.

He looked up at his friend, silently asking if this was still okay for him. Daryl jerked his hips forward, grazing the tip of his cock along Rick’s lips. Rick himself was nervous, he had never done this before and wasn't too sure what he was meant to do, but he was still hell bent on ensuring Daryl’s needs were met so he did what he thought he would want and took the head of his dick into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, flicking it over the slit whilst his hand found their way to Daryl’s balls. He cupped and squeezed them gently as he took Daryl further into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down on the long shaft.

Daryl was panting and moaning, running his fingers through Rick’s hair before tightening his grip to hold Rick in position whilst he fucked his mouth.

“Oh fuck Rick,” Daryl moaned then pushed Rick away from him. Rick was only confused for a split second before Daryl was roughly pulling his jeans and boxers off of him. Rick helped to take them off and was then spun and bent down over the edge of his bed. Daryl ran his hands over Rick’s bare ass cheeks, almost caressing them if his touch had been softer. He moved closer, sliding his dick into the crack of Rick’s ass, rubbing it up and down, as though trying to tease Rick.

Rick knew what was coming next, and he was surprisingly okay with it, he was still nervous, but something made him happy to know that soon, Daryl Dixon was going to be inside of him, at one with him, and only for him because Lord knows Daryl has never done this with a guy before. He fumbled for his bedside table, locating the bottle of lube he kept in the draw. He handed it backwards to Daryl, who took it from him, popped the cap and poured it onto his fingers. Daryl’s first finger lingered on the entrance to Rick’s hole, smearing the lube on the outer ring. Then quickly he forced it in, and all the way.

Rick hissed in discomfort and caught himself before he could buck his hips away from the intrusion. But Daryl carried on as though he did not notice Ricks clear displeasure and began fingering his hole with just the one finger, then swiftly adding a second, stretching out the hole the best he could. Rick clenched his teeth, he wanted to shout at Daryl to be gentle with him and calm down but he had a feeling Daryl wanted to be rough, to cause him some discomfort.

Soon Daryl completely removed his fingers, feeling as though he had stretched Rick enough. He covered his erection generously in lube, but before he positioned himself to finally take Rick, he pulled the other man around, just far enough so he could press another sloppy kiss to him. Rick sighed into it, he was glad that Daryl was showing him some affection, he needed to know that Daryl cared, even if it was only a little.

Once Rick was back to his position, Daryl lined up his cock using one hand, whilst the other ran up and down Rick’s spine then coming over to spread his ass cheeks. Then he pushed in. It was so tight Daryl cried out in pleasure, whilst Rick gripped the bed sheets hard, trying to accept and accommodate the large cock that was filling his hole. He let himself adjust to the strange feeling then as Daryl began to move he took his own cock into his hand and began to stroke himself.

“God Rick, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” Daryl gasped, making his hips move faster. Rick caught into a rhythm, moving back onto Daryl as he plowed forward trying to synchronize their movements. Daryl shifted slightly, trying to get a better angle and grabbing so tightly onto Rick’s hips he was sure to leave bruises. But when he moved Rick moaned in the greatest pleasure he had ever felt, his vision blurred and he had to still his own hand movements on his cock to stop himself from cuming there and then.

“Right there Daryl, harder please!” Rick begged. He should have been embarrassed that he was begging and pleading for his best friend to do him harder but the sensations he had felt was just too good to care. And Daryl was happy to oblige, fucking him hard into the mattress like it was his last time causing Rick to moan and whimper every time he hit that sweet spot inside of him.

“I’m gonna…” Daryl began to say, but his orgasm released hard and fast before he could even warn Rick fully. But Daryl didn’t stop, he carried on thrusting into Rick, riding out his orgasm for all it was worth. Rick took his own erection back into his hand pumping it in time to Daryl’s movements. He soon came all over the comforter that was lay out on top of his bed sheets in front of him, milking his orgasm just like Daryl had done.

Rick shifted forward, throwing the comforter off the bed first, letting the other man slip out of him. Daryl followed him, getting into the bed properly, pulling Rick in with him. Once they were settled, Daryl pulled himself into Rick’s side, nuzzling his neck, leaving small kisses.

Rick looked down at Daryl smiling lovingly at the man he wanted nothing more than to call his. Daryl smiled back and pressed a sweet kiss to Rick's lips.

"Go to sleep Rick, it's late," Daryl said sleepily, yawning as he got himself comfy for the night. But Rick couldn't sleep. Daryl hadn't left, he was snuggling up next to him and he thought his heart was going to burst right there in his chest. Maybe things would be okay tomorrow, maybe the alcohol was all Daryl had needed to have the confidence to be with him. Rick liked to think that there was the possibility that Daryl had wanted him too the entire time and that was really why he was here. He also liked to think that he was going to wake up the next morning with Daryl in his arms, smiling as he said good morning to Rick.

It would be perfect.

When he heard Daryl's breathing even out he took the opportunity to look and caress the man he loved. Lightly stroking his bangs out of his eyes, planting soft feather light kisses all over his face. Daryl's lips gave a small smile in his sleep and Rick finally was able to follow the other man's lead and nod off.

****  
  


***

****  
  


When Rick woke up the bed was cold and empty of Daryl. He reached out to pat the bed just to ensure he really was gone. Rick looked over to the bathroom door to see if maybe he was just in there taking a shower or a piss but the light was off. He slowly crawled out of bed and walked over to his draws to put on a pair of clean sweats but not without noticing the strange feeling and numbness in his lower back region.

Daryl had fucked him.

The small pain was a reminder of the event that had taken place the night before and Rick was more sure than ever that Daryl would just be downstairs getting a cup of coffee, because he wouldn't have left him right? If he was going to leave he would have done it straight away, Rick told himself, but he didn't, he stayed.

It was empty. The kitchen, the living room, just empty.

Rick sat himself down on his couch and he couldn't help the overwhelming sadness that ran through his body. He tried to tell himself that he knew this was all it was and that he had even told himself that he was going to get hurt, but it had been so easy to get lost in the moment and for a second allow himself to think that Daryl, his best friend, had truly wanted him. He just hoped that Daryl didn't hate him for it, for not stopping him like he knew deep down he should have done.

Rick pulled the blanket that lay over the back of the couch over himself as he lay down, willing himself to go back to sleep. He didn't want to deal with the hurt and the pain, he just wanted to do the only thing that could make it go away, if only for a little while, and that was sleep.

Rick was awoken by a quite aggressive knocking on the front door. He groaned as he sulked over to open it. The last person he expected to see was on the other side, and it was probably the last person he also wanted to see.

“Lori?”

“No hello?” Lori teased, but she wasn't smiling. Rick just stared at her as if she was just an hallucination and would go away when he blinked. But she was still there. “You gonna let me in?” Rick moved as he nodded to let Lori get through.

“Coffee?” Rick offered, he still wasn't too sure what to say to her. They hadn't spoken much since they had separated, he could only assume she had come to talk about the divorce.

Lori nodded and took a seat at his breakfast bar looking around as though inspecting Ricks new life without her. He sat at the breakfast bar also but leaving a space between them and pushed a mug of coffee towards her.

“If you’re here about the divorce I’ll get the papers sorted as soon as, just been busy,” Rick mumbled staring into his mug.

“Actually, I came because I just bumped into Daryl in town,”

Rick’s head snapped up. There was no way that Daryl had told Lori about what had happened between them last night, he hadn't even stayed to talk to Rick about it. He started to panic, what if Daryl had done it on purpose so he could rub it in Lori’s face that he had fucked her ex-husband? What if they had compared notes about how he was in the sack?

“Rick, you don’t need to look so worried. I'm just hurt that you didn't tell me and that I had to find out from Daryl,”

“What exactly did Daryl say?”

“I asked him how you was getting on and he said that you had found someone new. A man called Aaron,” Rick relaxed for all of one second. Daryl hadn't told her about last night, but he had revealed that he was gay!

“I'm sorry Lori, I wanted to tell you, but I was scared,” Rick said sheepishly, looking back at his untouched coffee.

“I'm okay with it Rick, I wish you had trusted me enough to tell me, for so long I thought it was because you hated me that we had ended. I'm happy for you, I swear,” Rick looked up to see Lori smiling at him. He smiled back, he couldn't quite believe that she was here supporting him, he had been so sure she would have been disgusted and shocked. He actually wished he had told her sooner, maybe they could have even stayed friends.

“So, are you going to tell me about Aaron?” Lori said, still smiling.

“There’s nothin’ to tell, it’s over between us,” Rick sighed, but then remembered, he hadn't gotten round to telling Aaron that it was over, he and Aaron were still technically a couple. And Rick could have punched himself in the face when he realised that he had cheated on Aaron last night, and he hadn't even crossed his mind.

“What’s wrong?” Lori asked, seeing that Rick was looking very conflicted.

“If I tell you somethin’ please don’ repeat it to anybody,” Lori’s face went serious as she nodded in agreement. “I forgot to tell Aaron that I wanted to end things, and now I've kind of cheated on him, I was gonna call him last night I just got distracted,”

“So by distracted you mean that you slept with someone else last night?” Rick nodded then held his head in his hands. He hated that he kept fucking up, making his life more and more difficult than it ever should have been. Why couldn't he just make the right decisions for once? Wasn't it bad enough that he was suffering from hurt without having to cause Aaron more hurt than necessary?

“Who was it?”

“Daryl,”

“But I saw Daryl this morning,” Rick just laughed. Daryl clearly wasn't running around town shouting that he had fucked his best friend. “No Rick, I mean he was with his girlfriend Erica,”

Rick’s laughter fell to silence. That’s why Daryl had left, to go running back to Erica. The nasty, cheating, alcoholic junkie. He had chosen that over him. He was pretty sure Daryl had also ripped his heart right out of his chest just before he left too, because he was sure as hell could only feel the gaping hole where it should be. The pain was twice as excruciating as it had been before, and he was sure that he had either stopped breathing or was already dead because he felt numb.

He wanted to punch Daryl in the face right then. How could he go back to her? How could he do that to him? And then Rick changed his mind, he wanted to punch himself in the face because he knew that Daryl was going to do that to him, he had said it himself, he wasn't gay.

"I need to go see him," was all Rick said, not caring to see Lori out, or even say good bye, as he ran up the stairs to go get dressed.

Rick wasn't too sure what he was going to say once he saw Daryl, he could plan a speech but he knew he would never remember it once he got there. All he knew was that he wasn't going to be ignored by his best friend for another few months until his girlfriend decided she was done with him again.

Rick picked up his phone before he left and noticed he'd had a few missed calls and messages from last night.

_Daryl: I'm sorry I've been avoiding you, I do need you Rick._

_Daryl: please Rick, come and get me I'm too drunk to drive._

_Daryl: please._

Rick's anger at Daryl simmered away. Daryl had been begging for him to help, if he had gone and picked him up he probably would have never turned up at his house, he probably wouldn't have thought the only way he could get Rick to help him was to give Rick what he wanted.

He quickly dialled Aaron's number as he left the house.

***

Rick pulled up outside Daryl's, knowing he was home from seeing his bike in the driveway. He was so nervous he was certain he was going to vomit. But he needed to do this. He needed to see him. Before Rick had even made it to the door Erica had opened it, leaving with a few bags that looked like her belongings.

"He finally got sick of you?" Rick sneered at her, he normally wouldn't be so rude to a woman but he truly hated her. Although he would never regret his night with Daryl, if she had just treated him right they wouldn't have gotten into the horrible situation they had found themselves in.

Erica just glared at Rick. She looked like she was about to retaliate when Daryl's voice boomed before she could speak.

"I thought I told you to leave, he don' wanna listen to what you gotta say," Daryl shouted from his doorway, Rick just smirked at her as she stormed away from the two men.

Rick carried on up to the house, not quite having the nerve to look up at the other man. When he got there Daryl hadn't moved, leaving Rick with no option but to look at him. Daryl wasn't smiling, but he didn't look mad or angry at him either. He could only assume it was a positive sign.

"What you wan' Rick?" Rick just cleared his throat and signalled with his hands that he wanted to come in. Daryl paused, but then moved allowing Rick to walk through. He stood awkwardly in the front room not feeling very confident to have the conversation that was about to take place.

"I think we need to talk about last night," Rick looked hard at the floor as though it was going to give him all the answers he needed.

"I don' know what to tell you Rick,"

"The truth," Rick looked up at him, "why did you do it?" Daryl looked more uncomfortable than Rick felt, he hated having to put that sort of pressure on him but Rick needed to know.

"I just needed you Rick,"

"Stop saying my name like that!" Rick snapped. He didn't want to get mad but the way Daryl kept saying his name felt strange, like he had to keep reminding himself who he was talking too.

"Ric-"

"Daryl!" Rick interrupted, not wanting to hear his name again.

"Sorry, I just don' know what to tell you. It happened and it shouldn' have done,"

"Because you're straight and you just needed a quick fuck," Rick said, bitterness dripping from his words. He heard Daryl sigh and began to get the feeling that he wasn't going to enjoy the outcome of this conversation.

"I shouldn' have gone to you Rick, but you were the only person who gave a fuck about me, she hurt me and I just needed someone who cared. I was selfish,"

Rick just nodded. He didn't know what to say anymore, he wasn't going to get his desired outcome and decided he should just leave. Leave Daryl behind for good. He didn't speak as he moved to exit the house, but Daryl blocked his way.

"Where you goin'? I thought you wanted to talk," Rick looked at Daryl, his face looked hurt that Rick was leaving.

"I'm done talkin' so unless you got somethin' to say I guess we are done here," Rick stated, staring at the arm that was blocking his escape.

"What about us? You're my best friend, my brother," Rick wanted to laugh, because he thought he might cry if he didn't.

"We kinda ruined that last night don' you think?"

"No we can forget it ever happened, we're stronger than that," Rick tried again to leave, to push past Daryl's arm but he was having none of it, grabbing Rick and pushing him back into the house. "Stop it Rick! Let's just sort this now,"

"Daryl I can' just forget! I'm in love with you and you came to my house and you fucked me. And now we're fucked!" Rick was seething, how could Daryl just forget about it,  how could he carry on as normal? He wanted to leave and even though it tore him apart he never wanted to see Daryl again. "Just let me go please, there's nothin' more to talk about,"

"Well, just call me later yeah?"

"I don' think so Daryl, if I see you around then I see you, but I think that's it," Daryl shook his head at Rick.

"No."

Rick released a long breath, why did he have to make this harder?

"Daryl, just let it go,"

"No! You don' just get to decide that you don' wan' me around anymore! Sorry I fucked you Rick, but stop bein' a little bitch about it!"

Rick began to shake in anger. He had to sit down before he lost his cool and slumped himself into the couch. Daryl moved to kneel in front of Rick, wedging himself between his knees, both staying silent whilst Daryl looked up to him like a pleading dog.

"This is the last thing I'm goin' to say before I go," Rick broke the silence, his voice calm and collected. "We're not gonna be friends, so if you wanna keep me around you better think to whether last night meant anythin' to you," as Rick went to stand Daryl's hands pushed on his thighs keeping him in place.

"That ain't fair Rick. I told you I ain't gay,"

"What you did last night was pretty gay and you seemed to love it just as much as me," Daryl looked away, his face going red as he couldn't deny that he had more than enjoyed fucking Rick.

"Rick. I'm sure I'm not gay, but I love you, I wouldn' have done that with just anyone," Rick could see that Daryl was looking conflicted, like he was fighting with himself in his head. "I just don' know, but you're asking a lot,"

"Well let me know when you make up your mind," Rick said, almost brushing off Daryl's small admission of his feelings.

"Rick this is 'ard for me, don' be like that!"

"And it's not for me?"

Daryl almost growled in annoyance, Rick could see he was beginning to aggravate him but he didn't care, he didn't just get to fuck him and pretend like nothing happened and be happy about it. Rick wanted to be selfish, he wanted to get what he wanted out of it.

Daryl pushed himself forward, dropping his forehead onto Rick's chest, then turning to place his cheek upon him, listening to his best friends heartbeat.

"Rick?"

"Yeah?" Rick answered, placing his hands on to Daryl's shoulders, softly massaging them.

"What if I try and I can' be what you wan' me to be?"

"At least you tried," Rick smiled for the first time since he turned up at Daryl's place.

Daryl looked up at Rick, returning the smile that was on his face.

"Come 'ere then,"

Daryl wrapped his fingers around Rick's neck, pulling him down to place a soft kiss to his lips. It was perfect, chaste and full of hope and promise.

And it was all Rick had needed to finally feel whole again, completely satisfied.


End file.
